1 Mind your thoughts
Do you exaggerate things to make them worse in your mind? Do you dramatise things? Do you always blame yourself or others? Do you constantly worry? Do people tell you not to be so negative? Do you only see things in black and white? Is it all or nothing? Are you harshly critical of your self and others? Do you need to be perfect all the time? Do you need to please others all the time? If you do you may need to retrain your thoughts with a cognitive therapy.
2 Learn to Meditate or Pray
Start with 5mins a day. This isn’t a quick fix. It’s like learning an instrument . Patience and discipline get results. You can learn to no longer let thoughts be ‘VIP’s in your life. Learn from a reputable practitioner or centre. Prayer, connecting with your higher self, God, Nature or however you see a higher power is connecting to your fundamental essence and Grace. That can be a well spring of support. You don’t have to be religious to do it!
3 Drop perfectionism
Do you equate self worth with what you have or achieve? Learn to sit and accept your self. Learn that self-love is crucial to your well being. If you really have difficulty doing this find a good qualified therapist to help you to see yourself in a new light.
Are you having a negative day of whinging about your lot? List 10 things you are grateful for, include aspects of yourself.
We forget our closest mammal relatives are chimps. Like them, we all need support, connection, touch and hugs. Ask yourself is my support network working? Or is it non existent or could it be improved? Communal activities with good intent make you feel good and raise oxytocin levels. We are hard-wired to benefit from being together in supportive groups.
One of the greatest healers is moderate exercise. Whether that’s football, walking, spinning, swimming, yoga, pilates or sex. Twenty minutes a day can lower blood pressure and make you automatically let of go of worry and stress.
If you meditate, exercise in the week and then cane it at the weekends with alcohol, drugs, caffeine and poor food. Try and move towards balance, not extremes. Seek help to move away from external stimulants in large quantities and toxic foods. Food is medicine and really has the profoundest bearing on our health. Learn about optimum nutrition and seek help to find herbs, supplements to help give you the best nutrition for your lifestyle. Don’t settle for poor nutrition you are worth more than that. And nutrition doesn’t have to be expensive. A cup full of celery stalks a day can lower blood pressure.
We have all heard this and yet, we forget to check we are breathing well. Hold you abdomen fill up the in breath slowly from there then the upper chest and do it in reverse when breathing out. Watch your shoulder and front neck muscles they should not raise or activate when taking a deep breath. Repeat 10 times.
8 Let go of Anger
Feeling fraught with anger? 90 percent of perceptions are distorted when we are angry. Take a cold glass of water, walk away from the situation, talk it through with a friend, let it out, have a scream, hit a pillow or exercise such as boxing training. Don’t keep it inside, Don’t act it out on someone else either. When you are calmer look at the situation again. What part did you play in it? What other factors might be causing the situation? Are you blaming one circumstance as the cause. If you are, its highly likely you are not seeing clearly. Try and re-frame it and see it from all angles. If you are always angry seek help from a qualified therapist and look for underlying causes including physiological ones such as hormone imbalances, too much stress, poor sleep or poor or inadequate nutrition,
What does rest mean to you? Falling asleep in front of the TV? Falling into a coma after a heavy night out? Sleeping fitfully full of worry? Learn to recognise exhaustion and when you are unable to rest. Sleep is vital to recovery. Build up a portfolio of therapies, nutrition, supplements and activities that actually work to help you rest and then do them regularly. Seek healthy ways to calm your mind and body such as being in nature, with animals,with loved ones, listening to music. Music is one of the greatest healers of the mind and body.
Having a horror day, a sad time? An unbearable time? Remember to get support and love. What is unbearable today will be gone as time passes. Emotions and circumstances come and go. Hold yourself in tender care as best you can. All things are impermanent.
If you need further advice or help on any of the matters raised please do contact me here.